BS Summary: This article contains 29 faulty reasoning types, including Optimism Bias, False Dilemma, and Framing Effect, with Hasty Generalization as the most egregious example at 16.4% saturation with 140 hits. Analysis detected 1,349 faulty-reasoning hits from 853 analyzed words, generating a BS Score of 45.3% and a BS Rank of 41% (13,118 of 21,886 articles). This article is better (less manipulative) than 59.90% of the article peer group.
By the time we reach our senior years, we have experienced a wide range of grief.
When we talk about loss and grief, we’re not only talking about the loss of loved ones, but also other situations, such as declining health and the loss of physical ability, cognitive function, occupational identity, and our role in society.
Often, we’ve experienced multiple layers of loss at once, such as losing loved ones, dealing with health changes, losing the ability to do what we once could, and experiencing a shift in family and community roles.
Even if the loss occurred a long time ago, we can still be easily triggered by certain events, such as anniversaries, birthdays, or everyday reminders that send us down the rabbit hole of sadness and grief.
This is especially common after losing a loved one.
It is very common for grief to resurface years later.
It’s all a normal part of love and memory.
How We Grieve and How Grief Shows Up
Grief is a natural response to loss.
It should never be considered a weakness.
Everyone grieves in their own way.
There’s no timetable or “correct” method for healing.
Grief can show up psychologically, such as through sadness, anger, guilt, or confusion, and physically, such as fatigue, trouble sleeping, changes in appetite, or aches and tension.
It’s important to care for the body.
Grief often comes in waves.
Some people cry easily; others feel more numb or keep busy to avoid feeling the loss.
Others want to talk, while still others prefer quiet reflection.
Some, especially poets, grieve by writing poetry.
Writing can help us meet every moment.
When we’re grieving, the feeling does not always go away; it simply changes in intensity.
It takes time.
It takes support.
Nurturing the Light
“Nurturing the light” doesn’t mean ignoring the pain associated with grief; it means making a small, steady space for comfort, meaning, and connection.
Remember that grief and light can coexist: Even in sorrow, there are threads of meaning, connection, and resilience.
This means fostering gratitude, sharing cherished memories, engaging in creative expression, meditation, prayer, or being in the company of kindred spirits who understand what you’re feeling.
After grief has settled, there’s often an opportunity to gain more clarity about life.
People often develop a deeper understanding of what truly matters.
Questions to Ask
Here are some questions to ask yourself or a loved one who is grieving:
What’s most important to you?
What is no longer important?
What do you want to share?
What are the small and big ways you can reach for joy?
How do you want to shine your light?
What impact do you want to make?
Choosing How to Grieve
In her book Reimagining Grief, Kate Doerge asserts that we choose how we move through grief.
She lost her 16-year-old daughter, Penny, to neurofibromatosis, a condition diagnosed when Penny was a little girl.
She described her daughter as someone who was a ray of light.
Although Penny became quite ill at the end of her life, Doerge decided to celebrate her during her final days, surrounded by light and happiness with so many people who loved her.
“You don’t have a choice in which cards come up, but you can and will decide how you play them.
How you play them will determine your happiness in life,” she says.
In fact, how you play them will determine everything in life.
She referenced her father’s comment on her wedding day: “I just want you to know it isn’t always going to be like this.
You’re just at the beginning of your life, and I know it feels like everything is going to always be perfect and beautiful, but the reality is that life will challenge you in ways you can’t even imagine.”
She learned that it was up to her to decide how to respond to life’s challenges.
Doerge offered these five action steps for moving through the grieving process:
Connect with others.
Celebrate the beloveds.
Be open to the signs.
Get moving.
Turn pain into purpose.
The Five Stages of Grief
In contrast, psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s list of the five stages of grief was formulated to help us know what to expect.
The stages provide a useful framework, but they do not necessarily offer guidance for navigating the day-to-day challenges of grief.
Denial (shock and disbelief)
Anger (resentment and frustration)
Bargaining (seeking a way out)
Depression (sadness and withdrawal)
Acceptance (finding a way forward)
Summary
In the end, we have to find a way to accept a new way of being in light of our loss, whether it is the loss of a loved one or a profound change in our own health, identity, or abilities.
There is no single roadmap through grief.
Different writers and clinicians have offered different ways of understanding the journey.
Kate Doerge emphasizes the choices we make in responding to loss, while Elisabeth Kübler-Ross offered a framework for understanding the emotional landscape of grief.
Together, these perspectives remind us that while grief is universal, how we move through it is deeply personal.
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